I have come to realise my emotional nature is my greatest asset in creating art and writing poetry from ‘inside out’. Connecting with my creative ‘voice’ is a satisfying practice and with this comes joy and a sense of fulfilment … even a realisation of why I am here in this body, on this earth and what my purpose is.
I am learning to ‘let go’ and relax when I create, not try too hard and to trust myself in the process … to go with my instincts and keep my heart open. When I get into the flow of creating, I discover what really moves me, what I care deeply about and what excites and inspires me … this is the doorway to finding out who I am.
I am … I have discovered … painting my feelings … my emotions …. these come from my thoughts … from my mind … and as I always (mostly) have a busy, overactive and stimulated mind, these ‘play paintings’ are a beautiful way where I can process and empty my mind.
Over the last few weeks, I have been creating art each day, sometimes settling down for a couple of hours, other times, snatching a narrow twenty minute window. However long I am at my art desk isn’t important, but turning up every day is. Everything we wish to achieve in life (even if it’s resting and doing nothing) requires a consistent approach. If we can find the discipline to practice, then we will reap the rewards.
As I have moved from memoir and short story writing into poetry and from a realistic painting style (where I tried so hard to find a likeness be it in a portrait or a landscape) towards abstraction, I am learning to:
- Always be kind to myself (silencing the inner critic)
- Trust the process and keep going
- Have trust in myself and my instincts, even when things go ‘wrong’
- Distinguish between emotions which enrich me and keep my energy levels high and those that are negative and deplete me
- Accept that fear and hurt are part of growth
- Accept that showing my vulnerability and staying open to connection are also part of growth
- Keeping being curious as curiosity ignites inspiration and new ideas
- Know that I will discover my creative purpose … that it’s not something I ‘should’ have or will ‘earn’ … it is simply who I am.
Below is a poem I wrote from ‘inside out’ and the above images are two peeks inside my sketchbook where I have painted my emotions.
Listen to the Rain
Imagine waking after a dream debacle, discovering a deluge of rain, a wind that is never weary and a porcupine lying beside you. Considering options, you succumb to an overwhelming urge to break free and give yourself over to the rain and listen to what it says: Days go by, depressing days, dark days, lonely days. Life is hard, life is lonely. You miss everyone that ever mattered and everything is harder now you are older and another biscuit doesn’t help anymore. Walls are cold and your body is colder, stiffer somehow but you don’t understand why, nor why absence scatters wide and low, shattering any hope you have for everything you yearned for. But with rain comes flowers, thirsts are quenched for every being. When it’s raining, the drops hit the roof and harmonic sounds make melodies, a unique genre of music and despite all your misery, being soaked by tears from the sky, it will always rain and that is a good thing.
LyndyH 