Tag: painting

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Painting my Emotions

I have come to realise my emotional nature is my greatest asset in creating art and writing poetry from ‘inside out’. Connecting with my creative ‘voice’ is a satisfying practice and with this comes joy and a sense of fulfilment … even a realisation of why I am here in this body, on this earth and what my purpose is.

I am learning to ‘let go’ and relax when I create, not try too hard and to trust myself in the process … to go with my instincts and keep my heart open. When I get into the flow of creating, I discover what really moves me, what I care deeply about and what excites and inspires me … this is the doorway to finding out who I am.

I am … I have discovered … painting my feelings … my emotions …. these come from my thoughts … from my mind … and as I always (mostly) have a busy, overactive and stimulated mind, these ‘play paintings’ are a beautiful way where I can process and empty my mind.

Over the last few weeks, I have been creating art each day, sometimes settling down for a couple of hours, other times, snatching a narrow twenty minute window. However long I am at my art desk isn’t important, but turning up every day is. Everything we wish to achieve in life (even if it’s resting and doing nothing) requires a consistent approach. If we can find the discipline to practice, then we will reap the rewards.

As I have moved from memoir and short story writing into poetry and from a realistic painting style (where I tried so hard to find a likeness be it in a portrait or a landscape) towards abstraction, I am learning to:

  • Always be kind to myself (silencing the inner critic)
  • Trust the process and keep going
  • Have trust in myself and my instincts, even when things go ‘wrong’
  • Distinguish between emotions which enrich me and keep my energy levels high and those that are negative and deplete me
  • Accept that fear and hurt are part of growth
  • Accept that showing my vulnerability and staying open to connection are also part of growth
  • Keeping being curious as curiosity ignites inspiration and new ideas
  • Know that I will discover my creative purpose … that it’s not something I ‘should’ have or will ‘earn’ … it is simply who I am.

Below is a poem I wrote from ‘inside out’ and the above images are two peeks inside my sketchbook where I have painted my emotions.

Listen to the Rain 

Imagine waking after a dream debacle, discovering a deluge of rain, a wind that is never weary and a porcupine lying beside you. Considering options, you succumb to an overwhelming urge to break free and give yourself over to the rain and listen to what it says:  Days go by, depressing days, dark days, lonely days. Life is hard, life is lonely. You miss everyone that ever mattered and everything is harder now you are older and another biscuit doesn’t help anymore. Walls are cold and your body is colder, stiffer somehow but you don’t understand why, nor why absence scatters wide and low, shattering any hope you have for everything you yearned for. But with rain comes flowers, thirsts are quenched for every being. When it’s raining, the drops hit the roof and harmonic sounds make melodies, a unique genre of music and despite all your misery, being soaked by tears from the sky, it will always rain and that is a good thing. 

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Being Creative, Being in Tune with Emotions – Swadhistana Chakra

Swadhistana Chakra – LIHazleton – Oil Pastels on Paper

Creativity is inherent in us all whether we realise it or not. For most people, our creativity as babies and children falls by the wayside when we learn to be in the world as responsible young adults. We have to pass exams, find careers, build sustainable lives and conform to social norms. This is what happened to me.

This year I have spent much of my time in creative pursuits and being aware of my emotions and dealing with them as appropriately as I can in the moment as they arise.

In 2008 when my role in the corporate workplace was made redundant, I allowed my creativity to surface again after many years of absence and have been drawing, painting and writing ever since. I also re-trained as a psychotherapist and took up yoga. Both of these enabled me to explore my inner world and understand how to balance and work with my emotions.

The Swadhistana chakra is known as the chakra of creativity and emotions. When in balance it leads to feelings of wellness, abundance, pleasure, and joy. When out of balance, a person may feel emotionally unstable and be susceptible to depression, addictions or anxiety.

In my yoga practice I have been working with this chakra in combination with consistently painting and writing. I have been utilising online courses to keep learning new techniques in landscape and portrait painting. Likewise, in creative writing I have been workshopping with others in tutor-led writing groups and doing a memoir course run by the National Centre for Writing https://nationalcentreforwriting.org.uk and tutored by the novelist Monique Roffey.

There are yoga poses designed to stimulate the Swadhistana chakra to help keep emotions and creativity in balance. I am an emotional person – vulnerable and emotionally charged at times and often easily reduced to tears. By continually being aware of and gaining a greater understanding of my emotions, I am discovering I can cultivate balance in my emotional body and perceive better and higher ways of living and expressing myself.

In my writing life, my goal is to write freely, in a way where I can fully express emotions and expand my awareness. In fiction, I endeavour to do this by writing stories with interesting characters who are emotionally challenged so I can explore their inner world as the plot/story develops in the characters outer world. In my non-fiction, I am writing memoir, exploring ‘the self’, writing in the first person and putting ‘me’ centre stage. To do this in an engaging way, I have to fully express myself and bare my soul, not necessarily on the page, but certainly to myself, keeping nothing hidden. I use yoga to help here in a specific way, on the mat in asanas but also whist in meditation.

Writing doesn’t come easy to me. It’s a constant challenge, but my yoga practice and studying the chakra’s help. Creativity and self expression is entangled and connected. Exploring it, examining what it means for me, brings unbounded joy.

LIHazleton.
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Feeling apprehensive!

imageHello Everyone, I’m Lyndy and this is my very first blog post. I’m feeling apprehensive because speaking out publicly and having a voice is so alien to me. This is as a direct consequence of my childhood and how I was brought up. I was ‘silenced’ and ‘squashed’ by my mother and had to carry her shame. I have decided it is time that I came out from beneath her shadow. This is the main reason for creating my own blog. I feel I have much to say about the journey of healing from a traumatic and emotionally abusive childhood that will hopefully help others. I would like to connect with people who are empathetic and who may have similar experiences and who may have an interest in my other reasons for blogging – my love of painting animals, my passion for walking and my ideas for writing a novel. Another topic that may crop up is dogs – on that subject, here is a photo of Amos who has come to stay for the week. Thanks for reading! Continue reading “Feeling apprehensive!”